A Lost New Year's Eve Party!
by Jade Snape-Holloway
Summary: The Losties decide to have a party for New Year's Eve! Please give me good reviews!
1. Chapter 1

A LOST NEW YEAR!

A/N: This is what would happen if the losties had a new year's eve party. If you review, make it good because if it's bad I don't want to hear it, kay:)

CHAPTER 1: THE PARY STARTS.

Locke sat in his tent, sharpening his many knives and muttering to himself.  
He turned to one of the posts holding up his tent and made another mark. He made a mark every day to keep track of how long he and the other survivors had been there.  
He stopped muttering to himself long enough to count them. From his calculations, they had been there a really long time, but also it was new year's eve!  
"It's new year's eve!" he muttered. "We ought to do something." So he got up and went to ask Jack, because obviously, Jack was the king of the island.  
"Hi Jack." He said, standing over Jack and watching him desperately try to tie his shoes.  
"What do you want, John? This is really important!" Jack said, trying to undo the knot he had put in his shoe.  
"Oh, I was just thinking we should do something for New Year's eve." Locke said.  
"How do you know it's New Year's Eve?" Jack yelled, cause that's what he did.  
"Ummm..." Locke said, trying to think of something to say that would sound more mysterious then the way he really figured it out. "I...The island told me!" Locke whispered.  
"Well in that case, sure! That's actually a pretty good idea, considering I didn't think of it!" Jack said, slapping him on the back.  
"OK, first things first, we should get everything ready." Locke said. "We'll need alcohol, fun foods like pretzels, music and more alcohol."  
"GOD DAMMIT LOCKE! I KNOW HOW TO THROW A PARTY!" Jack screamed. He turned to storm off, but then stopped and turned back to Locke. "Uh..how do we do this again?"  
"Well, first lets get drinks."  
"OK, where do we get them?" Jack asked, now skipping behind Locke.  
"Oh, Sawyer probably has some." Locke told him.  
"WHAT?! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO THAT RED NECK!!!" Jack screeched, tackling Locke to the ground. "I bet we can find drinks any where on an island!"  
X

After searching all over the jungle for hours, Jack finally agreed to go see Sawyer.  
They came up to Sawyer's tent and found him sitting out side as always and reading a kids book.  
"Sawyer!" Jack said rather accusingly.  
"What's up Doc?" Sawyer said.  
Jack starred at him.  
"Sawyer...That was the most unfunny thing to ever come out of your beautiful mouth! Anyway, I demand you give us all the alcohol in your possession! We're having a party for New Year's Eve!"  
Sawyer didn't even look up. " No."  
"Alright, lets torture him!" Jack said throwing his hands into the air.  
"Jack, no! I have a better way!" Locke said. He sat down across from Sawyer and starred deeply into his eyes. "James..." He whispered. Sawyer glared at him before tossing his book in the air. "Alright! Alright!" He gave up and disappeared into his tent.  
"Wow! How did you do that?!" Jack asked, awestruck.  
Locke shrugged. "It's my Super Locke powers."  
Sawyer came back out of his tent with an arm load of booze.  
"There! Now are you happy?!" he spat, which was hard cause he was smoking.  
"Yup. See ya at the party James!" Locke said, taking the stuff.  
"Now what?" Jack asked Locke.  
"We should probably get some fun snacks." Locke said.  
Jack gasped. "Like sushi!?"   
"Well I was thinking something more like..party nuts, but screw that! Sushi is great!"  
"Plus we're right next to the ocean!" Jack cried. "How hard can it be to get fish for sushi!?"  
X  
"Jack, this isn't working." Locke said. They were standing in the ocean, trying to catch sushi. Jack had insisted that sushi was a fish all by itself and that they didn't need fishing supplies because sushi just jumped out of the water when it was ready.  
"Shhhh! Your scaring away all the sushi!" Jack starred intently at the water. Then he looked up. "Can you use your super Locke powers to get the sushi to come out?"  
"No Jack, sushi is not a fish!" Locke said as Jin walked passed, laughing at them hysterically and pointing.  
"Lets just go get something from the hatch." Locke hauled Jack out of the water and they went into the jungle in search of food.  
"But Locke, I know the sushi was about to come! You know, back home they call me the Sushi Whisperer." Jack said.  
"Hey, there's Jin. Lets ask him if he has any fish we could use for sushi." Locke went up to Jin.  
"DO-YOU-HAVE-ANY-FISH?" Locke asked very loudly.  
Jack pushed him out of the way. "Let ME handle this." He stepped up to Jin.  
"GIVE US THE SUSHI OR DIE!" He started strangling him.  
"Jack, he already gave me some fish!" Locke said, pulling Jack off the poor little man.  
"Oh..darn..I really wanted to do that." Jack said disappointedly.  
"lets go see if we can find anything besides fish."  
X  
They were going through the storage room of the hatch, looking for something to eat. They had some up with Dharma pretzels, peanuts, and chocolate things.  
"OO, OO! I FOUND THE PERFECT THING FOR THE PARTY!" Jack screamed. He was holding up a frozen turkey.  
"Uhhh, we'll keep that for a back up." Locke said.  
Just then Hurly came in. "Heyyyyy...Whatcha ya doin', dudes?" He asked.  
"We're getting ready for a New Year's Eve party." Locke told him.  
"Ooooh! Locke! I didn't want you to tell HIM! I don't want him to come!" Jack whined at Locke.  
Hurly ignored him. "Well, maybe you guys can use some of this stuff." Hurly grabbed seven bags of chips and a cake.  
"Uhh, yeah, we can! Thanks Hurly!" Locke said.  
"Come on, Locke! Maybe Sun is done with the sushi!" Jack whined, pulling on Locke's sleeve. They had given the fish to Sun, because Jack just assumed that she knew how to make sushi. But Locke didn't want to argue with a moron, so he just went back to the beach with him.  
Back on the beach, they found Sun chopping up fish and doing all the other things sushi required.  
"Are you about done?" Jack demanded.  
Sun looked up."Jack, you threw the fish at me and screamed at me to fix it for you. Your lucky I'm even doing this, so you should be a little nicer."  
"I don't have to be nice to my minions. Anyway, are you almost finished with it?" Jack said, slowly as if Sun just hadn't understood last time.  
"I've gotten this much done." Sun pointed to a huge pile of perfectly made up sushi.  
"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I WANT MORE, AND THIS TIME DO IT RIGHT!!!!!!" Jack screamed, pounding his fist into the sand.  
"It's fine, Sun. Thank you." Locke said, wishing he had never let the island king know about his plain.  
"Now what do we do?" Jack asked, jumping up from his tantrum.  
"We have the food, the drinks, and the music in the hatch, so let's invite people!" Locke said.  
"Ohhh! Do we have to invite THEM?" Jack said, dramatically falling to his knees.  
"Who else would we invite?!"  
"The polar bears! They are my friends." Jack said creepily.  
"No, we're inviting people, Jack." Locke shook his head.  
X  
Locke walked up to Claire's tent to invite her to the party.  
She was playing with baby Aaron. And Charlie was sneaking up behind her.  
"Charlie, what are you doing?" Locke said sharply.  
"I'm...not..trying to kidnap Turnip Head if that's what your thinking." Charlie said. Then he screamed like a little girl and ran off.  
"Anyway Claire, we're having a New Year's Eve party and we were wondering if you wanted to come." Locke asked her.  
"Well...I don't know..I don't want to leave Aaron alone with Charlie, but I do like parties." Claire said.  
"That's not a problem, we'll lock him in the hatch with Henry." Locke said.  
"Oh, well then I'll be there!"  
Next Locke went to find Kate.  
He soon found her sitting on the beach, starring into the ocean.  
"What are you doing?" Asked her.  
"Sitting."  
"Why?"  
Because I look pretty when I do it."  
"Oh. So we're having a party. Wanna come?"  
"I don't know. Will Jack be there?" Kate asked.  
"Uh huh."  
"Well, he always follows me around drooling and when I try to do anything, he screams at me that he'll handle it. He usually just makes everything worse, too." Kate said.  
"I'll try to keep him away." Locke promised.  
"Okie dokie, I'll be there!" Kate said happily.  
Next on his invite list was Sayid.  
"Hi Sayid." He said, sitting next to Sayid, who was doing something very technical and complicated.  
"What do you want, John?" Sayid asked as he did something with wires.  
"Your invited to a New Year's Eve party with me, Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Hurly, and Claire, Sun and Jin."  
"Will Charlie be there?!" Sayid asked quickly.  
"No, we're going to look him in the hatch."  
"Oh. Yes, I will come to your party" Sayid said.  
"OK, now I have to invite all the other important people on the island." Locke said getting up and heading off to find Michael.  
"Hey, what's up?" Michael said, pretending not to be evil.  
"Well, you want to come to a New Years Eve party?" Locke asked.  
Hmm.. Michael thought. I better check with the Others to see if it's alright for me to go. "I'll get back to you on that." Michael said, heading into the jungle.  
"What a weird guy." Locke mumbled as he sharpened more knives and shoved orange slices in his mouth.  
Next on his list was Mr. Eko, his friend.  
"Hi, Eko." Locke said, walking up to Eko, who was on the beach, carving stuff into his Jesus Stick.  
"What is it you want, John?" Eko said, and some how managed to make THAT sound mysterious.  
"I want to know if you'll come to my New Year's Eve party."  
"I will consider this question in great detail and I will tell you my answer when fate decides." Eko said.  
"Uhhh...OooKay..." Locke walked away.  
Now he had to find Ana Lucia. She wasn't too hard to find. Just follow the gun shots.  
"Hey Ana-" Locke started, but stopped when she shot right next to his head.  
"Damn, I missed." She muttered.  
"What are you doing?" Locke gasped.  
"What the Hell does it look like?" She spat. "I'm shootin' stuff."  
"Well, when you get done, maybe you'd want to come to a new Year's Eve party.  
"I might."  
"Umm, no guns."  
"I'm not going."  
" All right, see you later." Locke said shaking his head and then diving for cover when another bullet flew passed him.  
He was going to find Libby when he heard her scream "HELP ME! JACK'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!!!!!"  
He ran towards the sound. When he got there, he found Jack pinning Libby against a tree and screaming at her.  
"YOU WILL COME TO THIS PARTY, YOU STUPID...JERK!"  
"Jack, let her go!" Locke said. Jack turned around and let Libby fall to the ground.  
"Libby, I'm so sorry! This is why I tried to get him to just let me do this." Locke whispered to her as Jack started beating up a tree.  
"I don't think I'll go." Libby said, rubbing her throat.  
"I don't blame you." Locke said.  
So now everyone was invited and they had all the food, all that was left to do was decorate.

END NOTES: Please don't kill me for making fun of them! Lost is the best thing ever, its characters are just funny! Please give me lots and lots of good reviews! Next chapter will be the party! D


	2. Chapter 2: The party!

A LOST NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY!

CHAPTER 2: PARTY TIME.

A/N: Thank you everyone who reviewed! I'm glad you like it! Please review this chapter!

Locke was in the kitchen, putting all the snacks in little bowls. Jack was in the living room, picking out music for the party. Then he heard it.  
"GOD DAMN IT! WHERE THE HELL IS IT?!!!!!" followed by a crash that sounded like a glass breaking.  
He ran in to the living room of the hatch.  
"JACK! JACK! WHAT HAPPENED?! DID YOU HURT YOURSELF?! DO I NEED TO CALL THE ISLAND ABULANCE?!!?!" Locke screamed.  
But when he stopped screaming he found that Jack had just broken a record by smashing it against the wall.  
"What...what are you doing?" He asked.  
"I am so sick of this! All the music here is old country! Where's all the Fregie?!" Jack demanded.  
"Jack, I'm sorry, but Desmond took all the Fregie with him when he left." Locke said, putting a hand on Jack's shoulder as he started to sob.  
Locke went back to the kitchen and began to put little pink umbrellas in the glasses of (insert random alcohol).  
"Hey. You need any help setting up the party?" Asked Henry.  
"Umm, yeah, actually. Could you--Hey! What the hell are you doing out of your cell?!" Locke demanded.  
"That Jack guy came over and let me out. He gave me the keys and told me to watch the new prisoner so he could look for the Fregie CD's." Henry said innocently.  
"What new prisoner?" Locke asked.  
//Scene goes to Charlie, sitting in his 'cell,' talking to himself. "I wasn't really kidnapping Aaron! I was saving him!"//  
"Oh, yeah. I forgot we had to lock him up." Locke said.  
It was almost time for people to come. Henry had set up some decorations (some how he managed to find a big disco ball to drop at midnight).  
Jack had all the music playing and Locke had all the food and drinks ready.  
Jack looked at his watch (which didn't work anyway). "Locke! Why aren't people here yet?!" He cried.  
"They still have time. Clam down." Locke said.  
"No, they don't! You just screwed up inviting people! I knew we should have done my idea!" Jack spat.  
"Huh? What was your idea?" Locke asked.  
"I told you. We should have sent the invitations with the penguins!" Jack said as if it were so obvious.  
"What penguins?" Henry asked him.  
"Well, if there's polar bears on the island, I figure there's penguins. So we could just tie the invitations to the penguins and let them deliver the invites." Jack said.  
"Wow, that's a...surprisingly good idea! I think your on to something, Jack!" Henry cried excitedly.  
Locke rolled his eyes. Everyone is stupid.  
Just then the hatch door bell rang.  
"Where did we get a door bell?" Locke asked as he went to answer the door.  
It was Kate and Sawyer.  
"Hi, Locke! We weren't making out!" Kate said quickly. "Hey, is Jack here yet? OMG! Jack! Jack! Hi Jack! I love Jack!!!" Kate screamed, running in and jumping on Jack.  
"So...I'll call you later or something." Sawyer called after her. "By the way, Mr. Clean. We totally were making out." Sawyer said as he passed Locke and when straight to the alcohol.  
"Uh..OK." Locke said as he closed the door. But as soon as he did, someone else rang the bell.  
It was Michael.  
"They said it was OK if I came as long as I didn't reveal that I am working for the Others. DAMMIT!" Michael screamed, slapping himself on the forehead and walking away.  
Then Hurly came in.  
"Hey dude! How's the party?" Hurly asked.  
"Pretty good, I guess. I've here answering this stupid door since people first started coming." Locke said.  
"Wow, bummer." Hurly said, walking off to join the party.  
Locke held the door open cause he was sure more people were coming. And sure enough, there was Claire.  
"Hi, John!" she said happily. "I'm so glad about Charlie being locked up! Now I can enjoy the party!"  
"That's great Claire, but where is Aaron?" Locke asked.  
"What? Oh ummm..Oh yeah! I left him with that Libby women." Claire told him.  
Five minutes later, Sun and Jin came up to the hatch.  
"Hi, Locke. This is where the party is, right?" Sun asked.  
"YES--IT--IS. VERY--GOOD." Locke said slowly and loudly so she would understand.  
"John, I speak English." Sun said, looking offended.  
"SORRY--SUN. I--DON'T--SPEAK--KOREAN." Locke said.  
Sun rolled her eyes and went into the hatch.  
Then Sayid came in, carefully looking around the hatch before going in.  
"Don't worry, Sayid. Charlie is safely locked up. We even took Henry out to make room for him." Locke said proudly.  
"You did what?!?! Henry is a very dangerous Other! Don't ask how I know that, I just do!" Sayid cried.  
"Oh, sorry." Locke said.  
Next Eko came in.  
"Hello, John Locke." He said in that oh so mysterious way.  
"Glad to see you could make it." Locke said.  
"No, you see, I only came here to tell you I'm not coming." Eko said.  
"Well, your already here, why not stay?" Locke asked.  
"I must build a church for no apparent reason." Eko said, slowly floating away.  
"That was weird." Locke muttered.  
OK, I think that's all the people he invited, so..moving on...  
The party seemed to be going well, except for Jack, randomly attacking people and trying to start a game of 'Pin The Tail On Kate.'  
"Hi, Locke great party. Me and Sawyer are going in this little room to make out." Kate announced, heading to Charlie's cell.  
"NNNNNOOOOO!!!!" Locke screamed, jumping in slow motion toward the door. But it was too late. Kate had opened the door and Charlie ran out screaming "CLAIRE! I MUST SAVE YOU AND TURNIP HEAD!"  
The hatch erupted into screams as Charlie ran around trying to save people from certain doom and Jack ran around trying to save people from certain doom brought on by Charlie.  
Sawyer grabbed Kate and they hid in the kitchen. But it was too late for Claire who was being 'saved' by Charlie.  
"HELP ME! HELP ME!" She screamed.  
"I'LL GET HIM!" Henry said, chasing after Charlie with a butterfly net.  
"NO, I'LL GET HIM! I AM THE SUPER DOC, NOT YOU!" Jack screamed as he jumped from the ceiling of the hatch in an attempt to land on Charlie...but all he did was land on Sun and crush her. Then Jin started beating him up.  
" HE GOT OUT! HE GOT OUT!" Hurly cried, pointing to the open hatch door.  
"LETS GO! WE MUST CATCH HIM!" Sayid yelled.  
"But...we don't really want to.." everyone said.  
"Jack, get off me! I'm not going to die!" Kate snapped as Jack tried to heal her 'wounds.'  
"Kate, your obviously delirious from the pain because I know you would never question me in real life." Jack said. "Now, I must take off all your clothes ."  
X

It was half an hour till midnight. Jack was drunk, Charlie hadn't come back, and Claire and Sayid were making out on the couch.  
"Hey, hey Locke! Guess what I'm a gonna do at midnight?" Jack slurred. "I'm gonna..HAHAHA! I'm gonna kiss Sawyer! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jack fell off his chair laughing and instead of helping him up, Locke took that opportunity to get the hell away from him.  
He went up to the snack bar and found Sawyer and Kate talking there.  
"..And so I was thinkin' maybe we could-" Sawyer was saying. But obviously this wasn't a bad time, so Locke decided to tell Sawyer what Jack had told him.  
"Hey! Sawyer! Jack is planning on kissing you at midnight! Just thought you should know." For some reason, Locke said that really loudly.  
Kate gapped at Sawyer. "Wow...Umm..Wow. I didn't know you were gay, Sawyer. I think I'll go talk to Jack."  
"Thanks a lot, Baldy!" Sawyer hissed.  
"Don't thank me, I'm just helping." Locke said.  
Now it was just a couple of minutes till midnight. Everyone was gathered around the ball to watch it drop.  
Jack kept giving Sawyer some very strange looks and the bursting into laughter.  
Sawyer had managed to convince Kate that he wasn't gay and now they were talking together.  
"OK, People! Let's start the count down!" Henry said, getting ready to drop the ball.  
"TEN! NINE! EAIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!" and then they all burst into cheers.  
Kate and Sawyer...and Jack were kissing, as was everyone else except for Locke.  
Then Jack came over to him. "Come 'ere, you gorgeous bald bastard!" And Jack pulled him into a kiss.  
Locke managed to throw Jack to the ground long enough to look up at the camera and say: "HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!"

THE END!

END NOTES: Wow, that was one crazy party! That took long enough to write, too, so please review!


End file.
